May 24, 2024, 11:42 am
You might think that by now we’d surely hit the bottom of the low-budget shark movie barrel. Well, you’d be right!
We hit the bottom of that barrel years ago, then broke through its chum-encrusted surface, and have burrowed deep below the barrel to previously unimagined depths. And in those depths, we found a basement. And inside a closet in that basement, behind a stack of old water-damaged jigsaw puzzles, there was a Ouija board. And inside that board, there was…. you guessed it. Ouija Shark!
Ouija Shark was made by the same people as Jurassic Shark. In fact, the same small rural lake with a gravel beach appears in both films! Our story begins when a young woman on her way to meet up with her friends for a girls’ weekend finds a Ouija board washed up on that gravel beach. Oddly, instead of avoiding the damp children’s toy at all costs, she picks it up and takes it with her to the girls’ rental house. Once she’s there, we quickly learn two things: one, she doesn’t really know these other women at all, and two, they have no plans for the weekend except to sit by the pool and complain. Out of desperation, they give the Ouija board a spin, and wouldn’t you know it, wind up releasing a flying ghost shark demon in the process. Your mom told you not to mess with those boards for a reason!
The ghost shark heads immediately to the area where sharks are famously most comfortable: the woods. Yes, we’ve got a poorly-rendered spectral shark flying among the trees and chomping people. Which, to be fair, we’ve never seen in a shark movie before. Not that we should have, or ever wanted to, but it undeniably exists, and that’s something!
Can the woman and her acquaintances defeat the big flying fish? Which one of them is the “Quint” of the group? Grab a board and summon Mike, Kevin and Bill for the journey into the watery occult that is Ouija Shark!
P.S. Stick around for the end to witness one of the most astonishing “presidential” impressions ever committed to film.
Written by: Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, Jason Miller and Zachary Shatzer
We hit the bottom of that barrel years ago, then broke through its chum-encrusted surface, and have burrowed deep below the barrel to previously unimagined depths. And in those depths, we found a basement. And inside a closet in that basement, behind a stack of old water-damaged jigsaw puzzles, there was a Ouija board. And inside that board, there was…. you guessed it. Ouija Shark!
Ouija Shark was made by the same people as Jurassic Shark. In fact, the same small rural lake with a gravel beach appears in both films! Our story begins when a young woman on her way to meet up with her friends for a girls’ weekend finds a Ouija board washed up on that gravel beach. Oddly, instead of avoiding the damp children’s toy at all costs, she picks it up and takes it with her to the girls’ rental house. Once she’s there, we quickly learn two things: one, she doesn’t really know these other women at all, and two, they have no plans for the weekend except to sit by the pool and complain. Out of desperation, they give the Ouija board a spin, and wouldn’t you know it, wind up releasing a flying ghost shark demon in the process. Your mom told you not to mess with those boards for a reason!
The ghost shark heads immediately to the area where sharks are famously most comfortable: the woods. Yes, we’ve got a poorly-rendered spectral shark flying among the trees and chomping people. Which, to be fair, we’ve never seen in a shark movie before. Not that we should have, or ever wanted to, but it undeniably exists, and that’s something!
Can the woman and her acquaintances defeat the big flying fish? Which one of them is the “Quint” of the group? Grab a board and summon Mike, Kevin and Bill for the journey into the watery occult that is Ouija Shark!
P.S. Stick around for the end to witness one of the most astonishing “presidential” impressions ever committed to film.
Written by: Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, Jason Miller and Zachary Shatzer
