Personal Riff Projects

[Meat Trademark]

What are you working on?  Any more clues?

I'm such a dork sometimes that I forget basic tenets. (No, I don't think I care to unpack that, thanks and sorry.)



The straightforward riff is for the being-called-a-classic-for-the-time flick FAIR GAME (1995). You may remember it as that one stupid movie starring that model. Cindy. Cindy Crawford? Does that sound right? Didn't she get topless in that? More likely, you won't remember it.



I don't want anyone to riff this but me! I call dibs! Back off!



Of course that's all rubbish and I want every movie to have a commentary just like God The Film Crew's [name withheld by request] Honcho wanted.



And the other strange riff that ... French ... is internet connection interrupted! really! I'

m losing you. I'

m* driving into a tunnel!



*you know who you are who hit "return" during a contraction. We haven't forgotten.

---

Spoiler: Watching the terra-stomping celluloid scream that is REPO MAN will help you get one joke in my FAIR GAME riff. As if you needed a reason to rewatch REPO MAN...



YOU: I'LL GET A JOKE BY [CHECKS NAME] WHATEVER- IF I WATCH REPO MAN AGAIN? WHO GIVES A POCKETBOOGER ABOUT [CHECKS NAME AGAIN] SOME MEAT GUY? BRING THE PUNK! NO BAD REASON FOR NOT WATCHING REPO MAN!

---

I'm not attacking, but why did you feel the need to use all caps in my version of you? I think the people want to know.

---

Long story short, don't overthink things.

---

N©2022

[SuspiriaTrumpsItFollowsCrap]

The "1972 Prog Rock" aspect of that last entry by M. Trademark ensures that I greatly look-forward to whatever M. Trademark provides. I merely hope that M. Trademark's riffing audio is very-clear/easy to discern over the "original-audio".

[Meat Trademark]

Just to take the edge or suspense off, I provide the following two statements by me(at™) in lieu of a traditional response.

"Statement 1: I'm using a BLUE Yeti mic* on that Cindy Crawford and William Baldwin movie (and I fucking swear to every and all God(s) that it's a real movie that I did not make up) FAIR GAME."

see also, of or pertaining to,

"Statement 1: (sic) For the top secret project I'm using more than one tool. This movie will look like you've never seen it before. Famously, not really "famously", I'm on record as being anti-Shibby-style manipulations of files especially when it comes to intentionally downgrading quality. This ain't like that, lovers, past lovers, and others. This is different from downgrading on a level that is not downgrading to women. Or anyone. Or any file. I don't want to give away too much, but salt is involved in a scene. Peel and don't repeel you eyes, because you won't believe your peeled, or unpeeled, eyes. DAMN IT! That really got away from me! I lost what I was talking about. Damn it. Is Don on the ph- Get Don on the phone!"

And so, yeah. That's what I heard. I don't know. I'd use some salt if I was to eat it.



* bummer for you, Trumps. Did a Blue mic kill your parents or something? Buy me a better mic and I'll use it... PROMISE!**


**Any tool can be misused, as all nouns can be verbed
(Just let it wash over you, DON'T THINK, it sounds deep.)
fnord

[SuspiriaTrumpsItFollowsCrap]

Just to take the edge or suspense off, I provide the following two statements by me(at™) in lieu of a traditional response.

"Statement 1: I'm using a BLUE Yeti mic* on that Cindy Crawford and William Baldwin movie (and I fucking swear to every and all God(s) that it's a real movie that I did not make up) FAIR GAME."

see also, of or pertaining to,

"Statement 1: (sic) For the top secret project I'm using more than one tool. This movie will look like you've never seen it before. Famously, not really "famously", I'm on record as being anti-Shibby-style manipulations of files especially when it comes to intentionally downgrading quality. This ain't like that, lovers, past lovers, and others. This is different from downgrading on a level that is not downgrading to women. Or anyone. Or any file. I don't want to give away too much, but salt is involved in a scene. Peel and don't repeel you eyes, because you won't believe your peeled, or unpeeled, eyes. DAMN IT! That really got away from me! I lost what I was talking about. Damn it. Is Don on the ph- Get Don on the phone!"

And so, yeah. That's what I heard. I don't know. I'd use some salt if I was to eat it.



* bummer for you, Trumps. Did a Blue mic kill your parents or something? Buy me a better mic and I'll use it... PROMISE!**


**Any tool can be misused, as all nouns can be verbed
(Just let it wash over you, DON'T THINK, it sounds deep.)
fnord

lol, "trumps" is a verb.  It has been for over three centuries, and it's a lovely, poetic word.  Too bad that "other guy" has "trump" as his surname, harrumph.

But, no bummer for me, Meat T.  As long as your riffs sound as wacky as you type, you can record them on an Edwardian phonograph and I'll still be as happy as an a$$man in Oakland.     

[Meat Trademark]

@ TrumpyCanDoMagicThings*
The "**Any tool can be misused, as all nouns can be verbed" bit was about the Blue mic and my approach to things, not your name.
ǝlqɐlᴉɐʌɐ slooʇ ǝɥʇ ǝɔɹoɟ

*At least you don't insult me with "MM" or "Meat Market" anymore. That's something!

I tried to think of the most dystopic thing I could conjure: meat™
It's like a death brand food or something. Something horrible. Meat itself is owned by some corp.

It seemed like a good idea to brand myself thusly at the time. Oh, last century...

---

But to stay on topic re: riff projects: The Good Shit won't happen until next year at the earliest, I'm guessing. Hurts me more.

Hoping for the movie thing Game, FAIR GAME! FAIR GAME! I remembered it. Fair Game! Yes! Oh. Yeah. I'm hoping to be finished within the next 49 - 377 days. That ballpark.

I'm reminded of an "exchange" I had with Bill Barker (Schwa) back in the day. We exchanged fliers for no other reason than it was fun and he was generous (this was late '80s) and before long I got a flier of his that read WHAT ONCE WAS FUN IS NOW YOUR JOB.

            That folded piece of paper weighed a hundred pounds.

I now feel it will be a miracle if I can finish this riff. It wasn't even fun when I started it. Over two years ago. It was one of those "What if [stupidity]?" I've reached yet  another impasse... (Need more dick jokes!) And there's that whole minute about salt! C'mon! Get off my back already!

Sorry. It's not you. Definitely not me . So, maybe it is you. ANYWAY.

We'll see. Haven't UNCLE'd yet.

[Helles]

Just to take the edge or suspense off, I provide the following two statements by me(at™) in lieu of a traditional response.

"Statement 1: I'm using a BLUE Yeti mic* on that Cindy Crawford and William Baldwin movie (and I fucking swear to every and all God(s) that it's a real movie that I did not make up) FAIR GAME."

see also, of or pertaining to,

"Statement 1: (sic) For the top secret project I'm using more than one tool. This movie will look like you've never seen it before. Famously, not really "famously", I'm on record as being anti-Shibby-style manipulations of files especially when it comes to intentionally downgrading quality. This ain't like that, lovers, past lovers, and others. This is different from downgrading on a level that is not downgrading to women. Or anyone. Or any file. I don't want to give away too much, but salt is involved in a scene. Peel and don't repeel you eyes, because you won't believe your peeled, or unpeeled, eyes. DAMN IT! That really got away from me! I lost what I was talking about. Damn it. Is Don on the ph- Get Don on the phone!"

And so, yeah. That's what I heard. I don't know. I'd use some salt if I was to eat it.



* bummer for you, Trumps. Did a Blue mic kill your parents or something? Buy me a better mic and I'll use it... PROMISE!**


**Any tool can be misused, as all nouns can be verbed
(Just let it wash over you, DON'T THINK, it sounds deep.)
fnord

"Fair Game".  I'm not familiar with it.  Which means it's probably perfect for riffing!  Can't wait!

---

Just to take the edge or suspense off, I provide the following two statements by me(at™) in lieu of a traditional response.

"Statement 1: I'm using a BLUE Yeti mic* on that Cindy Crawford and William Baldwin movie (and I fucking swear to every and all God(s) that it's a real movie that I did not make up) FAIR GAME."

see also, of or pertaining to,

"Statement 1: (sic) For the top secret project I'm using more than one tool. This movie will look like you've never seen it before. Famously, not really "famously", I'm on record as being anti-Shibby-style manipulations of files especially when it comes to intentionally downgrading quality. This ain't like that, lovers, past lovers, and others. This is different from downgrading on a level that is not downgrading to women. Or anyone. Or any file. I don't want to give away too much, but salt is involved in a scene. Peel and don't repeel you eyes, because you won't believe your peeled, or unpeeled, eyes. DAMN IT! That really got away from me! I lost what I was talking about. Damn it. Is Don on the ph- Get Don on the phone!"

And so, yeah. That's what I heard. I don't know. I'd use some salt if I was to eat it.



* bummer for you, Trumps. Did a Blue mic kill your parents or something? Buy me a better mic and I'll use it... PROMISE!**


**Any tool can be misused, as all nouns can be verbed
(Just let it wash over you, DON'T THINK, it sounds deep.)
fnord

lol, "trumps" is a verb.  It has been for over three centuries, and it's a lovely, poetic word.  Too bad that "other guy" has "trump" as his surname, harrumph.

But, no bummer for me, Meat T.  As long as your riffs sound as wacky as you type, you can record them on an Edwardian phonograph and I'll still be as happy as an a$$man in Oakland.     

Happy as an a$$man in Oakland.  Please tell me you made that up.

[SuspiriaTrumpsItFollowsCrap]

Just to take the edge or suspense off, I provide the following two statements by me(at™) in lieu of a traditional response.

"Statement 1: I'm using a BLUE Yeti mic* on that Cindy Crawford and William Baldwin movie (and I fucking swear to every and all God(s) that it's a real movie that I did not make up) FAIR GAME."

see also, of or pertaining to,

"Statement 1: (sic) For the top secret project I'm using more than one tool. This movie will look like you've never seen it before. Famously, not really "famously", I'm on record as being anti-Shibby-style manipulations of files especially when it comes to intentionally downgrading quality. This ain't like that, lovers, past lovers, and others. This is different from downgrading on a level that is not downgrading to women. Or anyone. Or any file. I don't want to give away too much, but salt is involved in a scene. Peel and don't repeel you eyes, because you won't believe your peeled, or unpeeled, eyes. DAMN IT! That really got away from me! I lost what I was talking about. Damn it. Is Don on the ph- Get Don on the phone!"

And so, yeah. That's what I heard. I don't know. I'd use some salt if I was to eat it.



* bummer for you, Trumps. Did a Blue mic kill your parents or something? Buy me a better mic and I'll use it... PROMISE!**


**Any tool can be misused, as all nouns can be verbed
(Just let it wash over you, DON'T THINK, it sounds deep.)
fnord

"Fair Game".  I'm not familiar with it.  Which means it's probably perfect for riffing!  Can't wait!

---

Just to take the edge or suspense off, I provide the following two statements by me(at™) in lieu of a traditional response.

"Statement 1: I'm using a BLUE Yeti mic* on that Cindy Crawford and William Baldwin movie (and I fucking swear to every and all God(s) that it's a real movie that I did not make up) FAIR GAME."

see also, of or pertaining to,

"Statement 1: (sic) For the top secret project I'm using more than one tool. This movie will look like you've never seen it before. Famously, not really "famously", I'm on record as being anti-Shibby-style manipulations of files especially when it comes to intentionally downgrading quality. This ain't like that, lovers, past lovers, and others. This is different from downgrading on a level that is not downgrading to women. Or anyone. Or any file. I don't want to give away too much, but salt is involved in a scene. Peel and don't repeel you eyes, because you won't believe your peeled, or unpeeled, eyes. DAMN IT! That really got away from me! I lost what I was talking about. Damn it. Is Don on the ph- Get Don on the phone!"

And so, yeah. That's what I heard. I don't know. I'd use some salt if I was to eat it.



* bummer for you, Trumps. Did a Blue mic kill your parents or something? Buy me a better mic and I'll use it... PROMISE!**


**Any tool can be misused, as all nouns can be verbed
(Just let it wash over you, DON'T THINK, it sounds deep.)
fnord

lol, "trumps" is a verb.  It has been for over three centuries, and it's a lovely, poetic word.  Too bad that "other guy" has "trump" as his surname, harrumph.

But, no bummer for me, Meat T.  As long as your riffs sound as wacky as you type, you can record them on an Edwardian phonograph and I'll still be as happy as an a$$man in Oakland.     

Happy as an a$$man in Oakland.  Please tell me you made that up.

Helles-yes I did.     Right off-the-cuff in fact. I lived in "Oaktown" for 2 years.  It put some of the "best" episodes of Soul Train to shame, lol.  I once designed a shirt using a map of Oakland and the slogan "Californian Capitol of Callipygia".  I'll now need to add "Happy as an a$$man in Oakland" to my riff-project, lol.

---

to Meat Trademark: I get playful with posts/comments; to be honest I did not intend to mock you by using “MM” I was being a bit sloppy; it referenced “Mighty Marvelphile”.  It’s a comics-thing.  From now on, I shall refer to you as “Meat Trademark” only, and again, I greatly look forward to your riff-stuff.

[Helles]

Just to take the edge or suspense off, I provide the following two statements by me(at™) in lieu of a traditional response.

"Statement 1: I'm using a BLUE Yeti mic* on that Cindy Crawford and William Baldwin movie (and I fucking swear to every and all God(s) that it's a real movie that I did not make up) FAIR GAME."

see also, of or pertaining to,

"Statement 1: (sic) For the top secret project I'm using more than one tool. This movie will look like you've never seen it before. Famously, not really "famously", I'm on record as being anti-Shibby-style manipulations of files especially when it comes to intentionally downgrading quality. This ain't like that, lovers, past lovers, and others. This is different from downgrading on a level that is not downgrading to women. Or anyone. Or any file. I don't want to give away too much, but salt is involved in a scene. Peel and don't repeel you eyes, because you won't believe your peeled, or unpeeled, eyes. DAMN IT! That really got away from me! I lost what I was talking about. Damn it. Is Don on the ph- Get Don on the phone!"

And so, yeah. That's what I heard. I don't know. I'd use some salt if I was to eat it.



* bummer for you, Trumps. Did a Blue mic kill your parents or something? Buy me a better mic and I'll use it... PROMISE!**


**Any tool can be misused, as all nouns can be verbed
(Just let it wash over you, DON'T THINK, it sounds deep.)
fnord

"Fair Game".  I'm not familiar with it.  Which means it's probably perfect for riffing!  Can't wait!

---

Just to take the edge or suspense off, I provide the following two statements by me(at™) in lieu of a traditional response.

"Statement 1: I'm using a BLUE Yeti mic* on that Cindy Crawford and William Baldwin movie (and I fucking swear to every and all God(s) that it's a real movie that I did not make up) FAIR GAME."

see also, of or pertaining to,

"Statement 1: (sic) For the top secret project I'm using more than one tool. This movie will look like you've never seen it before. Famously, not really "famously", I'm on record as being anti-Shibby-style manipulations of files especially when it comes to intentionally downgrading quality. This ain't like that, lovers, past lovers, and others. This is different from downgrading on a level that is not downgrading to women. Or anyone. Or any file. I don't want to give away too much, but salt is involved in a scene. Peel and don't repeel you eyes, because you won't believe your peeled, or unpeeled, eyes. DAMN IT! That really got away from me! I lost what I was talking about. Damn it. Is Don on the ph- Get Don on the phone!"

And so, yeah. That's what I heard. I don't know. I'd use some salt if I was to eat it.



* bummer for you, Trumps. Did a Blue mic kill your parents or something? Buy me a better mic and I'll use it... PROMISE!**


**Any tool can be misused, as all nouns can be verbed
(Just let it wash over you, DON'T THINK, it sounds deep.)
fnord

lol, "trumps" is a verb.  It has been for over three centuries, and it's a lovely, poetic word.  Too bad that "other guy" has "trump" as his surname, harrumph.

But, no bummer for me, Meat T.  As long as your riffs sound as wacky as you type, you can record them on an Edwardian phonograph and I'll still be as happy as an a$$man in Oakland.     

Happy as an a$$man in Oakland.  Please tell me you made that up.

Helles-yes I did.     Right off-the-cuff in fact. I lived in "Oaktown" for 2 years.  It put some of the "best" episodes of Soul Train to shame, lol.  I once designed a shirt using a map of Oakland and the slogan "Californian Capitol of Callipygia".  I'll now need to add "Happy as an a$$man in Oakland" to my riff-project, lol.

---

to Meat Trademark: I get playful with posts/comments; to be honest I did not intend to mock you by using “MM” I was being a bit sloppy; it referenced “Mighty Marvelphile”.  It’s a comics-thing.  From now on, I shall refer to you as “Meat Trademark” only, and again, I greatly look forward to your riff-stuff.

LMFAO!  As if "Happy as an assman in Oakland" wasn't good enough, I laughed even harder at the Soul Train reference.  Let it flow brother.

And I have some news.  I was eating lunch and I didn't want to watch/work on "Target Earth" while I was eating because I didn't want to stop pushing Huevos Rancheros into my gob to type, so I put on "It! The Terror from Outer Space".  I didn't think that was PD, but it is.  I just love those damn b&w films from the 50s.  That movie now enters my queue.  In fact I'm going to take a break from trying to fill in some dead space from Target Earth, to doing a first draft of "It!".  This damn thing writes itself.

Can't wait to see how you end up working the assman joke into your riff.  

[SuspiriaTrumpsItFollowsCrap]

Cheers, Helles, and FAB to hear that you are gonna tackle "It! The Terror from Outer Space!" which is one of my fave monster-flicks (hurrah for Forrest J. Ackerman!).  I love that film, watched it three times, would never riff it myself, but am happy that someone like you will.  IT "sucks me into it" the way Mary Jo said she gets sucked into films.

[Meat Trademark]

---

to Meat Trademark: I get playful with posts/comments; to be honest I did not intend to mock you by using “MM” I was being a bit sloppy; it referenced “Mighty Marvelphile”.  It’s a comics-thing.

That's a pretty bizarre lie. Mighty Marvelphile? Really?! And the first M isn't even Meat? Oh well. Still hope you enjoy my riffs should they ever get finished.
I naturally assumed that MM stood for Meat Market, which you called me, and not "Mighty Marvelphile" as it's not a thing I've heard in 40+ years of reading/collecting comics and sounds like something you just made up as an excuse.  There is no reason to refer to me as MM meaning that as MM aren't my initials and I've exhibited no Marvel fan behavior. You called me Meat Market, not a compliment near as I can tell, then "MM." Calling me Meat Market sounded like you were either insulting me or are partial illiterate.