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Beaks! Sure, everyone agrees they’re the tastiest part of the chicken, but
as this movie shows, they can also be dangerous!
Beaks! goes by a few alternate names, like Birds of Prey (sans Harley
Quinn) and Falco Terror (an objectively cool title), but of course we had
to go with the version that provides its own thrilling punctuation. It’s an
Italian/South American/heavy-on-the-dubbing production, and it’s an eye-
plucking delight. Seriously, there’s a lot of eye-plucking. Whether you’re
hang gliding, enjoying coffee on your balcony, or sitting in a small country
church, the birds in Beaks! are more than ready to pluck the heck out of
your eye. Don’t get plucked!
We know what you’re probably thinking: how can they riff a bird attack
movie that features no coat hangers, songs about hangin’ out with your
family, or slrpnls? Well, when you see this film try to be scary with a flock
of pigeons just minding their own business, or a happy little family of
ducks floating in a pond, you will understand. This is truly a new level of
bird based non-terror.
Watch a local news team soar around the globe on a seemingly infinite
budget to report this goofy story. But while you watch, don’t forget to
also cover your eyes, on account of all the plucking. Throw on some
goggles and join Mike! Kevin! and Bill! for Beaks!
Written by: Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka, and Sean Thomason
Contributing writers: Jason Miller and Zachary Shatzer
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Sep 11, 2020, 15:51 pm
(This post was last modified: Sep 11, 2020, 15:52 pm by savindwales.)
Thank you, peephalk! I'm sure this movie will do nothing to help my animal attack-based paranoid delusions.
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So this isn't "The Beak Speaks", Tom Servo's searing tell-all about his days aboard the Satellite of Love?
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Aw yiss. Classic bad movie. Looks like they've trimmed it down to remove the completely unnecessary real-life animal violence (which pretty much comes standard with any René Cardona Jr. flick, the sick bastard). If you don't recognize the name, René Cardona Jr. brought us previous RiffTrax classics such as The Bermuda Triangle and Treasure of the Amazon. Not to be confused with his father, who brought us Zindy, the Swamp-Boy and Santa Claus.
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Sep 11, 2020, 17:16 pm
(This post was last modified: Sep 11, 2020, 17:17 pm by Jam Handy.)
Thanks peephak! Nothing like a new René Cardona Jr. joint on a Friday night!
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Sep 11, 2020, 17:32 pm
(This post was last modified: Sep 14, 2020, 03:45 am by CountMeowt. Edited 1 time in total.)
wow, another movie that was on RedLetterMedia's Best of the Worst ? is this a conspiracy ? I'm not complaining, but lately it's getting a little bit 'weird'.
I just hope they don't decide to riff Shark Exorcist.
also, thank you peephalk!
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Sep 11, 2020, 18:16 pm
(This post was last modified: Sep 11, 2020, 18:17 pm by Jam Handy. Edited 2 times in total.)
(Sep 11, 2020, 17:32 pm)CountMeowt Wrote: wow, another movie that was on RedLetterMedia's Best of the Worst ? is this a conspiracy ? I'm not complaining, but lately it's getting a little bit 'weird'.
I just hope they don't decide to riff Shark Exorcist.
And Conor Lasto... Lasti... Lastic Laser Surgery... Loose Lips Sink... Linkin Parkowska... Last Exit to Brooklyn... Lastowwwwwwww (sorry, stepped on the w key)... Conor Lastoka (sic?) shows up on both things.
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(Sep 11, 2020, 18:16 pm)Jam Handy Wrote: (Sep 11, 2020, 17:32 pm)CountMeowt Wrote: wow, another movie that was on RedLetterMedia's Best of the Worst ? is this a conspiracy ? I'm not complaining, but lately it's getting a little bit 'weird'.
I just hope they don't decide to riff Shark Exorcist.
And Conor Lasto... Lasti... Lastic Laser Surgery... Loose Lips Sink... Linkin Parkowska... Last Exit to Brooklyn... Lastowwwwwwww (sorry, stepped on the w key)... Conor Lastoka (sic?) shows up on both things.
Wait. What's the Conor connection with Best of the Worst? Not doubting, just super curious since RLM is probably second place on my "Ways to enjoy bad movies" list.
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(Sep 11, 2020, 15:09 pm)peephalk Wrote: Beaks! Sure, everyone agrees they’re the tastiest part of the chicken, but
as this movie shows, they can also be dangerous!
Beaks! goes by a few alternate names, like Birds of Prey (sans Harley
Quinn) and Falco Terror (an objectively cool title), but of course we had
to go with the version that provides its own thrilling punctuation. It’s an
Italian/South American/heavy-on-the-dubbing production, and it’s an eye-
plucking delight. Seriously, there’s a lot of eye-plucking. Whether you’re
hang gliding, enjoying coffee on your balcony, or sitting in a small country
church, the birds in Beaks! are more than ready to pluck the heck out of
your eye. Don’t get plucked!
We know what you’re probably thinking: how can they riff a bird attack
movie that features no coat hangers, songs about hangin’ out with your
family, or slrpnls? Well, when you see this film try to be scary with a flock
of pigeons just minding their own business, or a happy little family of
ducks floating in a pond, you will understand. This is truly a new level of
bird based non-terror.
Watch a local news team soar around the globe on a seemingly infinite
budget to report this goofy story. But while you watch, don’t forget to
also cover your eyes, on account of all the plucking. Throw on some
goggles and join Mike! Kevin! and Bill! for Beaks!
Written by: Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka, and Sean Thomason
Contributing writers: Jason Miller and Zachary Shatzer
HighTV 1.4gb:
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(Sep 11, 2020, 17:32 pm)CountMeowt Wrote: wow, another movie that was on RedLetterMedia's Best of the Worst ? is this a conspiracy ? I'm not complaining, but lately it's getting a little bit 'weird'.
I just hope they don't decide to riff Shark Exorcist.
Lol, seriously? I watched this on a "bad movie" streaming site probably ten years ago. And on another bad movie weekend streamer at least twice in the same time. Red Letter Media reviews famous bad movies. A huge percentage of the movies they "find" are well-known to bad movie aficionados. RiffTrax does the same. If the films have a somewhat cult following, that means more views and more purchases. No big deal, that's the nature of business (which, make no mistake, RLM is, just as much as RiffTrax).
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