Star Wars Rise of Sky-walker

[alansmithee99]

Personally, I hated it more than the prequels. Those movies may have been full of bad ideas, but at least they had ideas. Abrams is just creatively bankrupt, and I say that as someone who has liked a lot of his other stuff. But this time the seams are just too obvious. He made two movies called Star Wars and yet failed to have a single battle happen in space. But I'm happy for other people who did like it, because I'm trying not to be THAT Star Wars fan.

[Cephus]

Once upon a time Star Wars held the dream on being a really cool series of action/adventure movies in space ... that dream died with ROTJ

You said it, brother.

[Meat Trademark]

Fade in on LucasFilm logo.

Text (in blue): A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away
Fades out

Smash cut to: STAR WARS
the logo fades into the distance

The crawl:
EPISODE IX
The Rise of Skywalker

Crawl fades into upper distance

Pan down from starfield to an island. We see someone on the ground. We get closer and see it is LUKE SKYWALKER.
Closer, we see his eyes open.
He moves a bit, getting his bearings, and stands up.

Hero shot.

Iris out, and End Credits

[robthom]

Sometimes Rifftrax makes something watchable.

But jj abrams just can't be fixed.
What he does just isn't funny.

Its like trying to riff child pronography or something.
Theres just no joke to be made about jj abrams.

[Meat Trademark]

Sometimes Rifftrax makes something watchable.

But jj abrams just can't be fixed.
What he does just isn't funny.

Its like trying to riff child pronography or something.
Theres just no joke to be made about jj abrams.

There's at least ten movies I'd never have suffered through were it not for RiffTrax. I need the new Star Wars riff ONLY to complete the collection. And then, later, I hope they do the shitty Ewok TV movies. Because umm. I don't know. Just to put a pin in the franchise and be be done with it?

[maarkeeta]

if history serves, we'll probably get the kickstarter in March and then the riff will drop around May b/c i bet it is a kickstarter reward.

[Cephus]

Fade in on LucasFilm logo.

Text (in blue): A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away
Fades out

Smash cut to: STAR WARS
the logo fades into the distance

The crawl:
EPISODE IX
The Rise of Skywalker

Crawl fades into upper distance

Pan down from starfield to an island. We see someone on the ground. We get closer and see it is LUKE SKYWALKER.
Closer, we see his eyes open.
He moves a bit, getting his bearings, and stands up.

Hero shot.

Iris out, and End Credits

It would certainly have been a better movie that way.

[ee5150]

Once upon a time Star Wars held the dream on being a really cool series of action/adventure movies in space ... that dream died with ROTJ

You said it, brother.

 Come on you guys there were even Ewoks

[DoctorChimera]

I haven't even seen it yet. Not until the riff comes out, at least.

Judging by what everyone's been saying, I guess I'm in for more disappointment.

Tell me, though: Was it better or worse than Solo? Because I could barely stay awake through that one.

[JetJaguar73]

I haven't even seen it yet. Not until the riff comes out, at least.

Judging by what everyone's been saying, I guess I'm in for more disappointment.

Tell me, though: Was it better or worse than Solo? Because I could barely stay awake through that one.

I actively disliked Solo.  The kid playing Han was just the wrong actor, the story was boring and I will probably not watch it again.
I enjoyed RotSW.  Don't go into it looking for The Godfather Part II, remember that it's a space-action movie for kids and you'll enjoy it just fine. I look forward to a re-watch actually.