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Right off the bat, there’s one thing you should know about the Suburban Sasquatch: his nipples are huge.
Huge, detailed, and poorly sculpted. He barely comes near a suburb in the entire course of the movie, so it should probably have been called Big Detailed Nipples Sasquatch instead. But hey, hindsight is 20/20. (20 is also roughly the diameter of the sasquatch’s nipples, in inches).
It’s an extremely homemade horror film in the vein of Feeders. Speaking of veins, the ones in this movie are all full of cheap digital blood that squirts out like a “violent” computer game from the 90s. And the cast of characters full of that cheap digital blood is rich: schlubby reporter guy, the cops with thick Pennsylvania accents and floppy hats, and the Native American huntress who shows up with a bow sort of magically, whenever, and lives in a mystical tent from the bargain bin at Dick’s Sporting Goods.
There’s too much arm-ripping blood-chugging goodness to describe here — this is a special one. Be warned: at one point in the film, a stuffed toy dog is ripped in half. It’s, uh, “gruesome”? Head to not-really-the-surburbs with Mike, Kevin and Bill for Suburban Sasquatch!
Written by: Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka and Sean Thomason
Contributing Writers: Jason Miller and Zachary Shatzer
If you like big boobs, then I think that you are going to love this.
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May 01, 2020, 14:33 pm
(This post was last modified: May 01, 2020, 14:35 pm by tripletap006. Edited 2 times in total.)
Well you guys are lucky I'm a boob guy! High (TV) is the best quality they're offering on this title btw. Hope everyone is staying safe these days...if the virus doesn't get you, maybe the Squatch will! Enjoy
Suburban Sasquatch - High (TV) (1.42 GB)
![[Image: SuburbanSasquatch_Poster.jpg]](https://www.rifftrax.com/sites/default/files/images/posters/SuburbanSasquatch_Poster.jpg)
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wow, thanks tripletap006 !!!, if only I had a Rich Evans real doll to watch it with me...
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(May 01, 2020, 15:00 pm)CountMeowt Wrote: wow, thanks tripletap006 !!!, if only I had a Rich Evans real doll to watch it with me...
That's it...we're partners in the "Rich Evans real doll"™ with real action audio clips!
*7 distinct, high-pitched laughs whenever it detects dialogue!
*The longest recording of "Oh my gaaaawwwwwwwddddd!
*Also, the longest recording of "AIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSS"!
Act now to get novelty, fun-time diabetes medication bottle you can velcro to his right hand and a star shirt for you to recreate Space Cop scenes right in your very own home! Supplies are limited, unlike Rich Evans' talent.
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May 01, 2020, 16:45 pm
(This post was last modified: May 01, 2020, 16:47 pm by JetJaguar73. Edited 1 time in total.)
(May 01, 2020, 15:38 pm)tripletap006 Wrote: (May 01, 2020, 15:00 pm)CountMeowt Wrote: wow, thanks tripletap006 !!!, if only I had a Rich Evans real doll to watch it with me...
That's it...we're partners in the "Rich Evans real doll"™ with real action audio clips!
*7 distinct, high-pitched laughs whenever it detects dialogue!
*The longest recording of "Oh my gaaaawwwwwwwddddd!
*Also, the longest recording of "AIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSS"!
Act now to get novelty, fun-time diabetes medication bottle you can velcro to his right hand and a star shirt for you to recreate Space Cop scenes right in your very own home! Supplies are limited, unlike Rich Evans' talent.
Rubes! Order from www.ellentube.com and get the Ellen exclusive with the limited edition Dick The Birthday Boy shirt and Hack Fraud ball cap!
Thanks tripletap006! You rock it da' mos!
I think this might cure me of any boob guy tendencies. 
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(May 01, 2020, 16:45 pm)JetJaguar73 Wrote: (May 01, 2020, 15:38 pm)tripletap006 Wrote: (May 01, 2020, 15:00 pm)CountMeowt Wrote: wow, thanks tripletap006 !!!, if only I had a Rich Evans real doll to watch it with me...
That's it...we're partners in the "Rich Evans real doll"™ with real action audio clips!
*7 distinct, high-pitched laughs whenever it detects dialogue!
*The longest recording of "Oh my gaaaawwwwwwwddddd!
*Also, the longest recording of "AIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSS"!
Act now to get novelty, fun-time diabetes medication bottle you can velcro to his right hand and a star shirt for you to recreate Space Cop scenes right in your very own home! Supplies are limited, unlike Rich Evans' talent.
Rubes! Order from www.ellentube.com and get the Ellen exclusive with the limited edition Dick The Birthday Boy shirt and Hack Fraud ball cap!
Thanks tripletap006! You rock it da' mos!
I think this might cure me of any boob guy tendencies.
![[Image: BTW8.gif]](https://i.gifer.com/BTW8.gif)
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(May 01, 2020, 16:48 pm)tripletap006 Thanks sooo much! Am I the only one with an overwhelming urge to wash my eyes as well as my hands for 20 minutes after looking at that image. I can only imagine where they harvested that chest hair & the the PTSD suffered by the poor schmucks that had to apply it to that chest piece. Ugh!On the up side, dying to see suburban idiots try and shoo away a sasquatch with a broom. I\m guessing their flyswatters were in the shop. Wrote: (May 01, 2020, 16:45 pm)JetJaguar73 Wrote: (May 01, 2020, 15:38 pm)tripletap006 Wrote: (May 01, 2020, 15:00 pm)CountMeowt Wrote: wow, thanks tripletap006 !!!, if only I had a Rich Evans real doll to watch it with me...
That's it...we're partners in the "Rich Evans real doll"™ with real action audio clips!
*7 distinct, high-pitched laughs whenever it detects dialogue!
*The longest recording of "Oh my gaaaawwwwwwwddddd!
*Also, the longest recording of "AIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSS"!
Act now to get novelty, fun-time diabetes medication bottle you can velcro to his right hand and a star shirt for you to recreate Space Cop scenes right in your very own home! Supplies are limited, unlike Rich Evans' talent.
Rubes! Order from www.ellentube.com and get the Ellen exclusive with the limited edition Dick The Birthday Boy shirt and Hack Fraud ball cap!
Thanks tripletap006! You rock it da' mos!
I think this might cure me of any boob guy tendencies.
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(May 01, 2020, 15:38 pm)tripletap006 Wrote: (May 01, 2020, 15:00 pm)CountMeowt Wrote: wow, thanks tripletap006 !!!, if only I had a Rich Evans real doll to watch it with me...
That's it...we're partners in the "Rich Evans real doll"™ with real action audio clips!
Will this Rich Evans real doll™ have . . . orifices?
Asking for a friend.
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May 01, 2020, 18:11 pm
(This post was last modified: May 01, 2020, 18:25 pm by tripletap006. Edited 1 time in total.)
(May 01, 2020, 17:45 pm)inelegy Wrote: (May 01, 2020, 15:38 pm)tripletap006 Wrote: (May 01, 2020, 15:00 pm)CountMeowt Wrote: wow, thanks tripletap006 !!!, if only I had a Rich Evans real doll to watch it with me...
That's it...we're partners in the "Rich Evans real doll"™ with real action audio clips!
Will this Rich Evans real doll™ have . . . orifices?
Asking for a friend.
17 in total, all dishwasher safe!
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