Apr 28, 2023, 14:52 pm
If you thought iron lungs were a good time, wait ‘til you get a load of Ironheart! Also if you watch the movie and can tell who or what the title is referring to, please let us know, because we’re not sure!
It’s the story of an L.A. cop who’s very skilled in martial arts but not very skilled in charisma, delivering dialogue, or having more than one facial expression. He does, however, have a cool red convertible. And if you enjoy looking at cool red convertibles, this is the movie for you, because he spends an extraordinary amount of the movie’s runtime in the car, usually parking it. Yes folks, we’ve got parking scenes. And he’s not the only one parking in this movie, it’s a total parkfest!
The hero cop uncovers some kind of human trafficking / drugs operation down at the docks. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned, nothing good ever happens down at the docks. It’s up to him and a dance instructor he meets to bring down the crime ring, which is fronted by an Australian man with a very Australian mullet. But that’s not at all: the real star of the show, when he bothers to show up, is the bad guy’s henchman, played by the always beefy Bolo Yeung. You may recognize Bolo Yeung as the bad guy in Bloodsport and a bunch of other action films. He’s also the guy they put on the poster for this movie, as if he were the main character. He is very much not!
Kick, punch, and park your car. It’s time to join Mike, Kevin and BIll for the high-octane parking thrills of Ironheart!
Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, and Sean Thomason
Contributing writers: Jason Miller and Zach Shatzer