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For about 5 seconds I considered posting this in the void but then common sense kicked in. I won't get any sincere opinions in the void!
It's Ramadan and everything is in place for me to go recit the Shahada. Only the Iman said there are 2 parts of my life that I should consider cleaning up first.
1. Stop having sex with my fiancé until we're married. Ok, I'm not happy about that but it's do-able.
2. Stop doing the video editing work for pornographers. This is a serious problem because those guys pay most of my bills! I'm not a married woman yet and I still have to feed and support myself.
My boyfriend has said to not worry about any of this. I was only told that I should consider doing those things and Islam isn't a religion of compulsion. He promises to make an 'honest woman' of me after the marriage.
I just kind of feel like a hypocrite if I don't at least make an attempt.
So, opinions?
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Maybe take your fiance to a drive-in chapel? Serious suggestion here. I know how much you love him.
Also: Maybe stop letting your imam know everything about your private life? Whichever business is yours is your own business. Its not by force that you let some clergyman into your privates. If you feel you have a score to settle with Allah, take it up with him. Skip the middle man 
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(Mar 21, 2024, 18:22 pm)ill88eagle Wrote: Maybe take your fiance to a drive-in chapel? Serious suggestion here. I know how much you love him.
Also: Maybe stop letting your imam know everything about your private life? Whichever business is yours is your own business. Its not by force that you let some clergyman into your privates. If you feel you have a score to settle with Allah, take it up with him. Skip the middle man
I don't have to say anything to anyone. It's the Muslim community which talks, checks up on me, etc.
For what it's worth, they've offered me a couple of more respectable jobs. But, with what I'm doing now, I don't have to go anywhere or get up in the morning.
It's actually kind of nice that I make my own hours and I don't have to find someone to drive me to work every day.
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Mar 22, 2024, 00:41 am
(This post was last modified: Mar 22, 2024, 00:42 am by LZA. Edited 1 time in total.)
(Mar 21, 2024, 21:20 pm)Ladyanne3 Wrote: (Mar 21, 2024, 18:22 pm)ill88eagle Wrote: Maybe take your fiance to a drive-in chapel? Serious suggestion here. I know how much you love him.
Also: Maybe stop letting your imam know everything about your private life? Whichever business is yours is your own business. Its not by force that you let some clergyman into your privates. If you feel you have a score to settle with Allah, take it up with him. Skip the middle man
I don't have to say anything to anyone. It's the Muslim community which talks, checks up on me, etc.
For what it's worth, they've offered me a couple of more respectable jobs. But, with what I'm doing now, I don't have to go anywhere or get up in the morning.
It's actually kind of nice that I make my own hours and I don't have to find someone to drive me to work every day. my thoughts are this... the base of organized religions are self-sustaining... no matter which one you choose it can engulf you for its purposes...
YOU guys should use religion if you so choose, to enrich/better your life, NOT to use AS a life. Do the best you can, but don't worry or think you have to do anything. You won't go to hell or feel Allah's wrath. Like Eagle said, you are getting your Earthly advice from other fallable humans. If you and your boyfriend live with your hearts and love in your intentions, you don't have to do crap besides what you wanna do... That means keeping a job you want, regardless if others think there are "more respectable" jobs out there... WTF is anyone to judge with anything? Most people are quick to offer advice to prove to themselves they are right about something, so the advice may be skewed.... just my observation.
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(Mar 22, 2024, 00:41 am)LZA Wrote: my thoughts are this... the base of organized religions are self-sustaining... no matter which one you choose it can engulf you for its purposes...
YOU guys should use religion if you so choose, to enrich/better your life, NOT to use AS a life. Do the best you can, but don't worry or think you have to do anything. You won't go to hell or feel Allah's wrath. Like Eagle said, you are getting your Earthly advice from other fallable humans. If you and your boyfriend live with your hearts and love in your intentions, you don't have to do crap besides what you wanna do... That means keeping a job you want, regardless if others think there are "more respectable" jobs out there... WTF is anyone to judge with anything? Most people are quick to offer advice to prove to themselves they are right about something, so the advice may be skewed.... just my observation.
These are wonderful people who do a lot for me. They're not like the Christians who show up in the marina every week just to tell me that Jesus loves me then make me feel like a piece of shit.
They've never said a bad word and the ladies are incredible. They've taught me how to do needlepoint, strip furniture and they listen to me when I talk. (Listening to me isn't always easy)
I just don't want to be a hypocrite and I want to be as good to them as they have been to me
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(Mar 22, 2024, 10:08 am)Ladyanne3 Wrote: These are wonderful people who do a lot for me. They're not like the Christians who show up in the marina every week just to tell me that Jesus loves me then make me feel like a piece of shit.
They've never said a bad word and the ladies are incredible. They've taught me how to do needlepoint, strip furniture and they listen to me when I talk. (Listening to me isn't always easy)
I just don't want to be a hypocrite and I want to be as good to them as they have been to me
Think of "hypocrite" as a personal judgement then. do what you gotta do and know you are not being hypocritical since you know what you are doing, you are just being an ambassador to your own needs and theirs. a true hypocrite doesnt know they are one, they just act without thinking.
Like eagle said, you don't have to let everyone in on your business.. This is a problem I struggled with. Check out my old junkie posts... too much truth sometimes..
you are the only one you have to deal with 24/7/365 so you need to make yourself happy. Do what you wanna do, including sex, your job AND showing these people love and respect... who says you can't have it all if you play your cards right... Again, not hypocritical if you knowingly do it to serve a good purpose. you gotta find a way to make yourself happy, otherwise you'll always question yourself. in the future, you'll look back with regrets.. shoulda woulda couldas will flood your mind
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