Mar 13, 2024, 12:26 pm
How to make your low budget film APPEAR to be mid-budget? Let "Hangman" show you: The Way...
EXTREME CLOSEUPS! - These will conceal that your set is actually your brother-in-law's tool shed, whilst demonstrating that every male could have REALLY used some primer to reduce the appearance of their gaping pores.
LOTS OF CHARACTERS! - These will give your plot a veneer of complexity & mystery, as you bet the audience won't notice that they have NO IDEA who any of them are, nor what POSSIBLE role they're playing in all of this.
MANY LOCATIONS! - Be they hideous industrial eyesores or a college campus that you've no permission to film upon, a plethora of locations will CONFOUND the viewer with (again) the veneer of complexity, combined with (a sense of...?) IMPORTANCE (if not mystery).
GRAVITAS-A-POPPIN'! - Have your (male) actors soak/attempt to soak, nearly all their dialogue in pointless/confusing gravitas. This will dovetail seamlessly with your EXTREME CLOSEUPS. {Failing that, shoehorn some earthy light comedy (or narratively-misplaced misdirection) into the mix, just enough to undercut the dramatic tension that you've been attempting to develop. Cross/Purposes is ESSENTIAL to: The Way...}
Finally, conclude with having ALL of your characters [that the viewer has no idea who they are] (somehow) meet in one location (make sure it's the EYESORE to end all eyesores, & terribly lit - this creates dramatic tension &/or bewilderment in your audience) to have a grand finale of uncinematic violence (save for one coolish, low-angled tracking shot of 3 guys shooting at...someone? For...? Um....SOME reason?).
Ever More Finally, tack-on ANOTHER ending wherein you attempt to cash out all the emotional heft & narrative nuance that your film DOESN'T have, but that you've NEVER DOUBTED it DOES*, as the enhausted viewer is (by now) far more nauseous than bewildered, & mercifully soothed by the conviction that "It's crap. But it's ALMOST over."
and Truly Lastly Finally? Never, EVER explain, suggest, or even ACKNOWLEDGE, just what the hell your title means.
This, Therefore, Will Have Been: The Way (...of Hangman).
*as I also clearly have not, whilst writing this INFALLIBLE (and succinct) TAKEDOWN.
EXTREME CLOSEUPS! - These will conceal that your set is actually your brother-in-law's tool shed, whilst demonstrating that every male could have REALLY used some primer to reduce the appearance of their gaping pores.
LOTS OF CHARACTERS! - These will give your plot a veneer of complexity & mystery, as you bet the audience won't notice that they have NO IDEA who any of them are, nor what POSSIBLE role they're playing in all of this.
MANY LOCATIONS! - Be they hideous industrial eyesores or a college campus that you've no permission to film upon, a plethora of locations will CONFOUND the viewer with (again) the veneer of complexity, combined with (a sense of...?) IMPORTANCE (if not mystery).
GRAVITAS-A-POPPIN'! - Have your (male) actors soak/attempt to soak, nearly all their dialogue in pointless/confusing gravitas. This will dovetail seamlessly with your EXTREME CLOSEUPS. {Failing that, shoehorn some earthy light comedy (or narratively-misplaced misdirection) into the mix, just enough to undercut the dramatic tension that you've been attempting to develop. Cross/Purposes is ESSENTIAL to: The Way...}
Finally, conclude with having ALL of your characters [that the viewer has no idea who they are] (somehow) meet in one location (make sure it's the EYESORE to end all eyesores, & terribly lit - this creates dramatic tension &/or bewilderment in your audience) to have a grand finale of uncinematic violence (save for one coolish, low-angled tracking shot of 3 guys shooting at...someone? For...? Um....SOME reason?).
Ever More Finally, tack-on ANOTHER ending wherein you attempt to cash out all the emotional heft & narrative nuance that your film DOESN'T have, but that you've NEVER DOUBTED it DOES*, as the enhausted viewer is (by now) far more nauseous than bewildered, & mercifully soothed by the conviction that "It's crap. But it's ALMOST over."
and Truly Lastly Finally? Never, EVER explain, suggest, or even ACKNOWLEDGE, just what the hell your title means.
This, Therefore, Will Have Been: The Way (...of Hangman).
*as I also clearly have not, whilst writing this INFALLIBLE (and succinct) TAKEDOWN.
